So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
