let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
