it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
