youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
