Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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