We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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