I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize