Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
