It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
