you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
