You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
