I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
