i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
