It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize