I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize