Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
