Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
