like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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