to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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