Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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