I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
