Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
