Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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