Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
