Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
