I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize