I feel great
I just peed on a car
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
