I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
