he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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