just tell him i said nine months
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
