Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
