Where is the hickey?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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