Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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