I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
