We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
