Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
COCAINE IS GR8
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
