very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
