This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
