They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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