Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
