i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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