I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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