i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
