And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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