I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
