Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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