Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
