i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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