Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
