I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
