Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
