he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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