I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
