**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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