He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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