I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
