It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
