don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she woke up with a sticky ear
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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