I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
