Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
