The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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