are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
