I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
