I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
