i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
