We're like a lot better than the average bears
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
