She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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