dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
