There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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