I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
